Last week was one of my best friends (and roommates) birthday and tomorrow marks MY 22nd year of life! Today's post is going to be a little bit all over the place so I apologize.
Two weekends ago we started the celebrations (because who wants to contain your birthday to just one day?) Now when I say celebrations, please by no means think that we are celebrating daily. It has been so much fun having our birthdays 6 days apart, we get to celebrate for twice as long and we get to do it together.
On the 7th we went to the Paint Mixer in Salt Lake and if you haven't been there. I highly recommend it. What's better than mimosas and painting? NOTHING. I was nervous because the entire time I was painting it just looked like a bunch of blobs of color with no actual substance. Finally, at the very end when we put the finishing touches on it, it came together and I am so proud of it! I am not artistic in ANY way unless you count coloring books artsy. My mother however, has an art degree and can pretty much paint anything so it was nice to feel that connection.
Last weekend, Kelsey, Deeds, and I went to my first hockey game since I was little (so I don't remember going) and man oh man did I LOVE IT! I used to figure skate competitively so being back to a rink, even just sitting in the crowd, was an amazing feeling. The energy was so amazing, screaming at the refs and players, along with the fights was so much fun. I even fell in love HA! Not literally, obviously, but there's always one player you can't take your eyes off of, not so much because he was good looking (that was just a plus) but because you can tell how passionate he is for the sport. Something about seeing someone with a passion and fire in their eyes just makes them 100% more attractive than looks alone.
Tomorrow is my 22nd birthday and to end the festivities I am getting my hair done, and then we are going out to the Gateway Mall to watch them do the tree lighting. I love this time of year, not just because my birthday but because of the whole season and the feeling of pure bliss and happiness. I swear it's nearly impossible to be sad during November and December.
This will be the first year (of probably many) that Cameron is not home to celebrate my birthday with me. It's hard and at times I doubt my strength to go on without him home, but I knew what I was getting into when I said "I do." He was in the military long before he and I got together. I knew that missing birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc. was just apart of the job. I know he would be here if it were up to him.
So, for my 22nd year of life I am going to try something new. I am going to put my all into becoming a better me; a better sister, friend, daughter, and wife. I want to be the person I know that I can be deep down. I know that 22 isn't significant (unless you're T-Swift) but with a new year comes all new opportunities to better yourself.
Starting out, I am going to do the most important step in becoming a better person.... I am going to love myself. All of my flaws, all of my quirks, every little thing I dislike about myself... I am going to learn to love and accept them. I can no longer live in my own mind where I am unhappy. When you're constantly fighting with depression, loving yourself is not always an easy task. I can't just tell myself to be happy. I have to truly feel it. So I will do things that make me happy. I will no longer come home and plop in front of the TV counting the hours until I have to start my next day. I will no longer put off chores that need to get done because "I just don't feel like it." I will start loving myself and in order to love myself, I need to love where I am. Everything is a part of a grand plan, I am exactly where I am supposed to be in life and I need to be happy with that. I have pushed myself so hard to get into school, and begin my career. Instead of being upset with having to wait until January, I will be happy that I get to START!
I'm going to finish the projects that I have started. I am going to CLEAN my house and ORGANIZE everything so that it has a place and maybe even get rid of some things I truly don't need (gasp) once I declutter my house, maybe I can start decluttering my brain, and my life. I am no longer going to take little things for granted, nor will I continue to get upset over little things.
I started the process of a new year yesterday. I changed my phone number. A number I've had for 11 years. It sounds silly, but it was almost like I was giving up my past. I felt sad, but I also felt relieved and happy. I get to start over in some aspect. New age, new number, new me?? Maybe that's a bit of a stretch.
Well enough ranting for the day! Hope everyone has a wonderful day!
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