So I've done two posts tonight, one is my update and this will be a Q&A about my pregnancy and the reveal of my first Care Package. To be honest the reason I haven't been so into posting is because not a whole lot is going on.. or at least I don't think anything blog worthy. I've decided to post a little bit more about how I'm dealing with the deployment being on my own AND knocked up because I know I'm not the only one who has gone through it and I know I'm not the last (: It's not always easy but I know it'll be worth it.
Now that I'm almost halfway through my pregnancy (WHAT?!) I found some really good prompts while pinteresting, along with some questions and comments I get on my own. Hopefully this will answer everything (:
But you're still young:
A lot of people have told me to "wait" that "you should see the world" and all that jazz. Trust me, I thought long and hard about all of the sacrifices before hand. On the other side, I also thought about the light in my babes eyes when we take him to Disney for the first time, the first time he sees the ocean, Christmas lights and school plays... It's not that I wont be able to see the world.. I'm just seeing it in another point of view. My son is already my world and if I never went further than family visits to California for the rest of my life, I would be fine with that.. because the love and bond you have with your children is worth more than any trip you could ever take.
Being pregnant while Cameron’s gone:
Yeah, being 5 weeks pregnant when we said goodbye in the SLC airport was by far one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. Mostly because no one else knew we were pregnant so we couldn't really talk about it. I did get to go to Nashville in February and that goodbye was bittersweet because I felt my heart being ripped out all over again but this time I felt more secure when he talked to my belly and told our little guy goodbye as well. I've had my bouts of depression where I don't know how I'm going to make it without him through this whole pregnancy and then some... but also when I'm sitting alone in my bed at 2am missing the warmth of my husband next to me I have a sweet reminder that not all of him is gone. I try to look at the bright side of things as much as possible.. It doesn't always go that way but honestly I don't know ANYONE who is happy 24/7. As Hannah Montana said.. "everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days" yep I went there. I am most excited for Cameron to meet his son after being gone for so long, I not only get to see him and get my first kiss all over again but I get to see his face as he holds our little boy. It's something that the thought of already makes me teary eyed.
Were you surprised by your pregnancy?
Yes and No... We had been actively trying for a while...You know, ovulation kits, tracking days, basal body temperature, doing anything and everything I read about online to "help get pregnant." Well none of it worked. We learned in July that Cameron was being deployed at some point in the near-ish future and continued really trying until about November. I had decided to quit my job, go to phlebotomy classes, and work in a hospital while Cameron was gone. I was perfectly satisfied with just getting that all done and doing my own thing for the first time ever. Granted I've lived out of my parents house since I was 18 but aside from the couple months a year Cameron was gone I was never "on my own" so I was kind of looking forward to doing that. Lets just say when people tell you to "stop trying" to get pregnant.. they know what they're talking about. I know it's a LOT harder than they make it seem so I will never be one of those people who tells someone to "stop wanting it" because it we are honest.. I never stopped wanting a baby, I just became content in waiting. So yes I was surprised it had finally happened but no I was not surprised that I could be pregnant.
How I feel about "Glowing":
Honestly I get this comment quite a bit and I don't see the "glow" everyone talks about.. but I love being told I'm glowing because 99.99% of the time I am told that... I'm nauseated and feel like a baby orca. So thanks guys!
Belly Rubbing:
Quite honestly it weirds me out a bit.. I don't HATE it but it does make me kind of uncomfortable because it just makes me feel fat. I don't so much mind family doing it but I think if a stranger tries I'll have an internal anxiety attack. I also kind of feel like Buddha.
Meanest things I've been told:
Cameron's role while being gone:
Even with him gone... I have never felt like he wasn't supportive or uninterested. I honestly think he would rather talk to SJ than to me! Every time we talk he asks how our little man is doing and checks on him. He has sat up numerous nights worrying about me and our babe. I've even been grounded from any physical labor because I spotted last week and now he refuses to let me do anything on my own for fear of risking SJ (honestly I think it's adorable how much he cares) He tries to be around for all of my appointments so that way I can either message him after or he can skype during it. I don't think there is a single thing he could do differently to make me feel "more supportive." SJ and I are so lucky!
In Other News:
I have been dying to share the care package I made for Cameron.. But I couldn't risk him seeing it before it arrived. Well he received it today and he said "I haven't opened it yet but the customs sheet says play-dough and I am SO excited." Yep I'm wife of the year because I sent my husband play-dough (he's 27 by the way) oh I love that man.
The care package has two layers, the layers consist of:
Bottom layer:
Play-Doh- For when boredom strikes
Robins eggs: because he loves them
Beef Jerky: Again because he loves it
Easter confetti grass
Top layer:
Robins eggs
Goldfish:because we can go through a huge bag in one sitting together
Oreo's: Because he always buys me new flavors.. I'm not kidding he bought me 3 packs of the reese's ones one time.
A Camo sweatshirt easter bunny ear wearing sock monkey: Because he HATES stuffed animals (;
A box of fortune cookies: Because they are MY favorite thing in the world.
A card: I found said card at wal-mart and sat in the aisle and cried because it was too perfect.
Lastly, a picture I took specifically for him to take on deployment:
Thanks for reading my catch up/Q&A post... make sure to follow my Instagram if you don't already, I post there quite often (:
Until next time,
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